


The One

by Grey_alltheway



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 15:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14452227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grey_alltheway/pseuds/Grey_alltheway
Summary: What should have been season 3 premiere for Cophine.





	The One

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a double perspective fic, to see what was going on inside Cosima and Delphine's heads after she came back from Fankfurt, with Cosima's illness advancing.

The sun had long gone down while Cosima kept walking up and down Felix’s loft, circling the place for the last half hour now. Her clone phone was in her hand, waiting for Delphine’s text anxiously.

“Should she even be walking that much?” Sarah asked Felix, who was reading the winter issue of a fashion magazine. “Aren’t you tired, Cos?” she asked her sister, louder.

“I’m anything but tired,” the dreadlocked girl replied, dragging the oxygen tank after her. Her mind was flying in 10 directions, but not to her health. Not now; from thinking about Delphine’s latest trip, to thinking about 15 different ways she could poison Leekie and Rachel. Everything and anything but her health. She rarely had these kind of thoughts, but for some reason this research trip they made Delphine go onto had really put her nerves to a test. 

“If she doesn’t arrive in 10 minutes, I’m out,” Sarah said, leaning back on Felix’s red armless chair. 

“It’s not like she’s _deliberately_ late, Sarah. You can’t control planes,” Cosima told her, turning to her and eyeing her, irritated. “What if something went wrong? What if the plane had to return?” she asked as she finally crashed back on the couch. She tried making place next to Felix who was laying on the better part of it. “What if they crashed?” 

Felix put the magazine down, throwing her a skeptical look. “What if she is busy landing and checking her luggage out?” 

Cosima snorted. The transparent tube sometimes made it hard, but she’d gotten used to it, barely noticing it in the mirror anymore. 

“I’m just worried, okay? It’s normal to think about the worst out in a situation,” she defended herself. 

“Fine, let me give you this: if she doesn’t call in 30 minutes, you can start worrying. But not until then,” he told her. 

She considered his deal. “Alright,” she said finally. 

“Where was she off to, anyway?” Sarah asked after a while. 

“Frankfurt,” she replied. “Some task Rachel gave her.” 

“Doesn’t that seem strange to you?” she asked her. 

“We work at Dyad, Sarah.” 

“Yeah, but she seemed to be getting awfully close to Rachel,” she said suspiciously. 

Cosima was about to argue, but her phone ringed. 

Seeing Delphine’s name on the screen, she smiled widely, answering. 

“Hey there,” Cosima said. “Did you land? Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m in the waiting area,” Delphine said, and she didn’t sound happy. 

Cosima frowned. “Okay, we’ll come get you,” she said and hung up. “Come on, guys, let’s hurry.” 

Sarah had to drive, as Felix was hardly in the mood, so he stayed home. 

They stayed quiet for most of the road. Cosima watched the lights on either side of the road, the lights that made houses, buildings and people visible. “Why are you always so judgmental about her?” she asked as they were nearing the airport. 

Sarah exhaled through her nose, looking exasperated. She didn’t sound that way, though. “I guess… the fact that you work in contact with Rachel doesn’t help. And that she was working with Leekie before knowing you; I don’t know, she didn’t offer me much of a chance to trust her,” she replied honestly. 

“I love her,” she told her, looking at her. “We love each other and I trust her with all I have.” 

Sarah pulled in a parking spot near the entrance. “I hope you’re right to do so. And if it’s true, if she can be trusted, I hope one day you’ll be able to find peace with her. But I would really, really hate seeing you broken, Cos.” 

She smiled at her sister. “But for the time being she seems okay. So let’s go get her,” she told her, her tone changing. 

Sarah offered to help her with the tank and all, but Cosima admitted she would have to learn to do these on her own. 

“So independent,” Sarah told her, laughing. 

“I learned it from you,” she grinned at her. 

They entered the airport, searching for the waiting area. It was easy to find; many chairs sat in several lines. 

Cosima searched for Delphine with her eyes, her anticipation growing by the second. Her heart was beating fast and she tried to control her already uneven breathing. Her fist clenched and unclenched as her eyes were desperately looking for her. And then, with a few steps forward, she saw her. She was leaning into the wall, her head in her hand. 

“Delphine?” Cosima said, but she found that her voice was actually weak. Without knowing or realizing, her eyes teared up. The blonde’s head shot up, looking straight into Cosima’s eyes. 

“Cosima…” she tried saying, but her voice was weak too. Shooting up from the chair, she hugged Cosima. Her embrace was tight, but careful. She minded the tube, she minded Cosima’s health. Cosima tied her arms around her waist, finding she could hardly keep her strength. For the first time that day, she realized at last how tired she was. As Delphine held her, as her presence surrounded her, she finally let go of all the worries. With her here, she was feeling safe.

Delphine retreated after a while, Cosima didn’t know how long it lasted. “How are you feeling?” she asked her, cupping her face.

Cosima’s smile appeared slowly on her face. “I’m better now. I was really worried.” 

“For me? Oh, ma chérie, why?” Delphine asked her and gave her a look that made Cosima’s muscles weaken further. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for you, to take care of you. I feel so terrible about it.” 

“Hey, it’s work, I never judged you for a second,” she said, continuing to smile. “I missed you, of course, but now you’re here.” As Delphine kissed her gently, she thought back of what she told Sarah in the car, sure about every single word of it. The familiar feeling of soft lips on her own made her feel like home again, a feeling she lacked while she was gone. 

“Sarah, thank you so much for coming to get me,” Delphine told the other sister. 

Sarah smiled shortly. “No problem; anything for Cosima.” 

“Anything for Cosima,” she agreed, looking back at her girlfriend lovingly. 

She dropped them off at Delphine’s apartment, where they’d been sleeping before Delphine had to leave. 

“How are your labs?” Delphine asked her as they entered the apartment. 

“They’re… okay; the same,” Cosima said, looking down, as if she’d be ashamed. 

Delphine approached her, taking her hands. “Look at me.” 

As Cosima’s eyes found Delphine’s, she felt like she might tear up again. 

“I promised you we’ll find your cure. I’m not done searching, I’m nowhere done searching, because I didn’t give up. And I never will.” 

Cosima’s tears rolled down her pale cheeks and she saw Delphine’s hazel, sad eyes water too. But she was keeping her voice strong, she was keeping her head up. 

“I need you to keep on fighting. You keep on fighting and we’ll get through this,” she told her, believing her words full-heartedly. 

Cosima kissed her, putting her remaining energy in that kiss, in response to Delphine’s words. Pressing their foreheads together, Cosima knew Delphine was _the one_. 

She knew she was the one to be trusted, the one who would help her cure, the one who would give her the happiness she deserved and who would love her no matter what. 

“I love you,” she whispered. 

-.-.-.- 

As she glanced out the small plane window, she started seeing the airport’s lights. It was a little over 9, but the darkness outside and her tired state of mind made her feel like it was almost midnight. There was one thought that kept her from falling asleep, as the plane was descending. The thought that she’d be seeing Cosima in less than 30 minutes made everything bearable. 

The fact that she missed out a week of her life from being next to her made her feel angry. The fact that Rachel could send her away whenever she wished so made her infuriated. The simple thought that she didn’t see Cosima for a week made her eyes tear up; but what she hated most, what she blamed herself for most, what made her heart ache was the fact that she couldn’t be there for Cosima while she was fighting through her illness. The fact that Rachel had her do anything she wished so felt like she was more committed to her than to Cosima and all that came was rage with that thought. Her determination to find a cure was the one thing that kept her tears back whenever Cosima would cough more blood. She didn’t look at her with pity; she blamed and wholeheartedly hated whoever was behind this cloning experiment for putting the one person she ever truly loved through all the suffering. 

She was willing to fight whatever and whomever she had to get that treatment. She’d take any hit to see her well again. 

Getting lost in her thoughts, she barely felt the plane hitting the ground. The pilot’s voice reached her ears when his speech was ending and she clapped faintly. Her feet were eager to speed up, to run as fast as they could to finally reach her. 

With shaky fingers she turned her phone on, calling Cosima as soon as her device got service. Her voice barely sounded sick; she was happy, the enthusiasm in her tone clear. She tried, she really tried to sound happy, but she failed. She still blamed herself for this situation, for missing out on their time together. She knew it was merely work, but she couldn’t help it, or stop the blameful thoughts. 

As she exited the plane, the cold Toronto air hit her and for a moment all she wanted to do was stand there, feeling the slight wind that was blowing. The simple thought of relaxing, of letting her guard down sounded so surreal she barely ever paid it attention. 

She didn’t have to wait for long. Though she’d been siting for the past 9 hours, she felt just as tired. Sitting down on one of the chairs from the waiting area, she leaned in the wall, feeling her back ache. It wasn’t long until her head would start pounding too, all the bad and hunting thoughts weighing on her. 

When her voice finally reached her, she found it was much weaker than the one she’d previously heard. Her head shot up from her hands, her eyes landing right on Cosima. 

She pulled her in her embrace. She played and replayed this action in her mind, how she would approach her without hurting her. She knew she must be weak and the last thing she wanted was to make her feel more pain. 

But it was natural. When they touched, they fit perfectly in each other’s embrace. Holding her, finally, finally being able to support her, she inhaled deeply like she hadn’t breathed ever since she left. The familiar shape in her arms and the dreads tickling her cheek made her smile, truly smile for the first time in days. 

When she kissed her, it was more exhilarating than she could’ve pictured. Thinking back of all the times she replayed a kiss in her mind, trying to feel like home again, she thought she had managed. But now, now when she was really feeling Cosima, she realized it could never compare. She figured reality always beat imagination in some way. 

On the way back home she volunteered to sit in the back, behind Sarah’s seat. She had a few things planned to do, a few things she needed to catch up on. One of them was undoubtedly looking at Cosima. 

Simply letting her eyes wander all over Cosima would boost her moral. 

So as Cosima chatted with Sarah, she watched as her smile would pop up occasionally, automatically lighting up her eyes. 

That’s one of the many things she loved about Cosima’s appearance. Her smile always, always lit up her eyes. You could read the joy from her eyes alone, without having to see her curved lips. Though, to be fair, her mouth was a different thing, Delphine thought. 

The warmth of another body at night, Cosima’s body, made all the difference. Of all things she had to do alone, sleeping would be the one she despised most. The big space on the bed, the other empty, cold half rarely let her sleep facing it. And now all she did was look at it. As Cosima fell asleep, easily tired from a regular, simple day, but affected by the disease, Delphine would always let her drift to sleep only to watch her later. The transition from her monitoring label to the girlfriend label had long changed, before she was even sick. But now, at night, many times her worried girlfriend half entangled with her other worried doctor half. 

Looking as the breathing tube reached her nose, all the way behind her ear and down her jawline, she realized it didn’t fit her. She was the doctor, the scientist, not the patient. It made her kick fate again and again. 

She’d gotten used to her without her glasses, but she rarely saw her without her signature eyeliner. Even when she was sick she had it. Sometimes she took it off before sleep, sometimes she didn’t. The dreads were also almost always twisted. She could count the times she didn’t see her with her dreads or with her eyeliner. 

The thing that made her heart shrink most was the contrasting breathing. She counted the number of times her chest rose until she lost count. The length was never the same; either two short and one long breaths, or one short and three long, they… they never matched. 

So she would just draw her closer, wrap her arms around her waist and fall asleep as Cosima’s breathing tickled her neck. Though heart-shattering, Delphine would still fight to keep Cosima next to her. She would still fight for them to be together because it wasn’t right otherwise. 

She never searched for the one. She figured that one person who’d change her life would be introduced when the time was right. And she was. She came when she expected least. She trusted fate that way. 

And now fate was the one thing she wanted to forget; because fate dangled them both at the edge of the cliff at the moment. 

She finally found the one who made her smile and laugh until her stomach ached, the one who kept her up at nights with her witty words and jovial state of mind. The person whose softest touches made her give in from time to time, relax late into the night. 

Cosima had changed her. 

She showed her a whole new way of living, of thinking and of loving. Cosima had shown her the honest, selfless and devoted love she always dreamed of receiving and giving. By getting to know her, Delphine learned things she would never forget. 

But she wasn’t ready to lose Cosima. Not the person who turned her world around. Just the simple thought that Cosima would all of a sudden stop exiting in this world seemed… impossible, unimaginable. Unbearable. 

But hope wasn’t lost. There were several of ways to try out and fix Cosima. 

The will Delphine felt when thinking about saving her was one of the strongest she’d ever experienced. She had an iron will when it came to Cosima and her wellbeing and she’d let no stupid experiment or disease get in the way of Cosima getting to live her life. 

She would get her that cure. She would find her fix and Cosima would heal. 

She didn’t dare think of any other way. 

Turning to her right side, she pulled Cosima closer and kissed her lightly on the forehead. 

_I love you, so deeply… it’s what holds me together. It’s you, Cosima… it’s you. You’re the one._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed my take on a different season 3 beginning. Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
